Monday, May 12, 2008

Small Talk for Business - How to Play Conversation Tennis to Connect Through Small Talk

A conversation is like a tennis game. You start the conversation and then send the ball into the other court. The other person continues the conversation and then sends it back to you. Without this give and take, you end up with a monologue.

Here are some ways to keep sending the ball over the net.

Add something. When you respond to a question, flesh out your answer with details. Dont respond with a monosyllable, such as Yes or No.

Avoid killer phrases. Instead of remarks such as: We already tried that. It didnt work, respond with: How would that work?

Dont try to top every story with a better one. Even if you have a similar story to tell, its okay to let the other person have the spotlight.

Dont interrupt people. Surveys show that this is the number one irritant. Just because someone pauses doesnt mean they have finished. If people frequently say, Please let me finish, you may be guilty of interrupting without even being aware of it.

Be a humor carrier. Be careful about telling jokes, because what seems funny to you may easily offend someone of a different age, culture or gender. However, you dont have to tell jokes or wear a lampshade on your head to be funny. Show your warmth and wit by appreciating the humor of others.

Laugh together. Laughter is a kind of social glue that binds people together. Laugh at yourself and observe situations from a different perspective. When people laugh together they reduce tension and connect.

Remember your goal in a conversation. If its to convince someone of your point of view, you may win the argument but lose the relationship. Head-on challenges strengthen peoples resolve to hold on to their views. After all, who wants to publicly admit they were wrong?

Keep the conversation light and enjoyable if you want to build relationships. This doesnt mean you can never bring up sensitive topics, but monitor peoples reactions. If you hit a nerve, you may be doing damage by continuing the conversation.

Do you find it difficult to make small talk with strangers? Making small talk is vital to building connections that increase your business. A simple guide called From Bashful to Brilliant takes the worry out of business events with step by step tips that give you immediate results. Click here to find out more:http://www.goldmansmythe.com/howto.html

Lynda Goldman is the author of 30 books including How to Make a Million Dollar First Impression, and a business etiquette consultant for corporations. Subscribe to her ezine Communication Capsules and get a free report: Breakthrough Communication Skills packed with powerful tips for success, at http://www.ImpressforSuccess.com


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